There's no doubt that there is power in appearance. Attractive and fit people get hired faster, get free-be's more frequently, and are treated better by strangers. News anchors are attractive and thin (well at least the female anchors). I can't pretend that I've never used my subtle smile or soft eyes to get a favor or an extra hot fry from my favorite fast food restaurant.
As parents attempt to help their children get ahead in life, we are used to hearing about pushing children to be smart, hard-working, and well-rounded ---- but what about pretty?? And what does pretty mean anyway?
My freshman year at Northwestern I wrote a paper about how the politics of appearance have played a role in making black women with darker skin or thicker, course hair not consider themselves beautiful. This idea of becoming more "western" or European, has been adopted globally as part of this fast-paced, information age. And it scares me half to death.
Don't get me wrong, there's no problem in staying fit and always presenting a well-kept and neat you, but the idea of westernized beauty has gone way too far. I was shocked when I listened to the Today Show this week and heard about teens getting plastic surgery to increase self-esteem and prevent bullying. I was baffled: self-esteem is something that comes from inside. No matter what you change, there's always SOMETHING that someone can pick on you for. You have to be comfortable with you. Parents must help develop positive self-esteem (it starts with parents accepting and loving the person they are themselves).
This morning, I read an article about a 12 year-old Korean girl whose mother is mandating that she get plastic surgery to make her eyes wider.
"I'm excited. I think I'll look better than I do now," she says shyly, breaking into a small smile.
Her mother, Jang Hyu-hee, says her daughter didn't ask for the surgery.
"I'm having her do it," says Jang, "because I think it'll help her. This is a society where you have to be pretty to get ahead. She's my only daughter."
The definition of pretty, explains their plastic surgeon, is not the standard Asian face, but closer to a Caucasian face. Dr Kim Byung-gun is the head of Seoul, South Korea's biggest plastic surgery clinic, BK DongYang. The clinic is a dozen stories tall, with all of its operating rooms full on the day of Min kyong's surgery.
To read more: http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/asiapcf/05/19/korea.beauty/index.html?iref=storysearch
Rather than go into a rant about how rediculous this sounds to me ... I'll try to keep it simple. Love yourself. God doesn't make any mistakes. He numbered the hairs on your head, and He carefully molded you while you were in your mother's womb. Pretty has several definitions. Not just one. And yes, although I am a contestant in a beauty pageant, I have struggled with this issue as well. My solution: I embrace the person God made me. To be ashamed of something that He created is like slapping Him in the face. I know that I really am beautiful as he has made me -- chunky thighs, super thick fro, sweaty armpits, short toes, veiny arms, and all. I've learned to tame my poofy hair and dress ready to take a picture, but I am not nor will I ever be ashamed of who I am naturally.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
-Psalm 139:14 (NIV)
My favorite book of all time: http://www.amazon.com/Designed-Must-Special-American-Version/dp/0961527943 - My mom used to read this to me when I was little. No wonder self-confidence is a part of my platform! :-)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
The people of Zionsville teach me a lesson about my own platform
Eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrlllllyyyyy Saturday morning April 23rd I arrived at the Lion's Club in Zionsville, IN for a GIANT Easter Egg Hunt.
At 7:30am, I helped hide the eggs on multiple fields, one for each of the age groups. Three other titleholders from the Miss Indiana and Miss Indiana's Outstanding Teen organization showed up to volunteer.
Put very simply, we had so much fun. Five thousand people showed up for donated breakfast, free giveaways, face painting, and of course an egg hunt. I had only ever participated in a family sized egg hunt in the backyard of someone's home, so this was very new to me.
My role was to keep smiles on young children's faces, especially those who weren't the best at finding eggs. When tears started rolling down the faces of those who were slower than the others at scatching up the brightly-colored eggs in the baseball diamonds and open fields, we would toss an egg out of our basket in their direction. It was cute. The kids would sprint to the eggs and sweep them into their own decorative baskets. Parents were greatful beyond measure --- and all I had to do was toss a few eggs.
At 7:30am, I helped hide the eggs on multiple fields, one for each of the age groups. Three other titleholders from the Miss Indiana and Miss Indiana's Outstanding Teen organization showed up to volunteer.
Put very simply, we had so much fun. Five thousand people showed up for donated breakfast, free giveaways, face painting, and of course an egg hunt. I had only ever participated in a family sized egg hunt in the backyard of someone's home, so this was very new to me.
To be completely honest, I was nervous at first to go. I knew I would be among the very few brown faces around. I guessed that my presence wouldn't be as well received as the other contestants. I remembered the time I visited Japan as a delegate for the Anti-Defamation League, and the people were shocked I was black. I distinctly remember how only the white student that was with us had his picture featured in the paper. We were referred to as the three blacks and one American. It was odd because we were specifically there to discuss the importance of accepting all people reguardless of difference. It hurt, but that experience warned me to have my guard up. Thankfully, I was wrong. The people of Zionsville were welcoming and appreciative of my volunteered time, especially if it meant putting a smile on their child's face.
Can't wait to go back to Zionsville, IN for Miss Indiana week. This was an unexpectingly warm experience for me. :-)
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Miss Banks of the Wabash visits Wings of Elegance
Wings of Elegance is an organization in the Brightwood community of Indianapolis that hosts quarterly workshops on an array of topics to benefit under privileged girls from 9yrs-17yrs. While not exclusive, the program primarily serves the black community. A workshop is comprised of a number of 30-40 minute sessions of different topics and activities; arts and crafts, etiquette, health and nutrition, conflict resolution, community and civic involvement, education and career planning, etc. to vary the kid's exposure. They try to put professionals in front of them for the purpose of providing good information, but also in having session leaders who look like them they see the opportunities that exist in realms that they may not have thought of.
On Apriil 9th, Jeniece Fleming, Miss Banks of the Wabash visited the program. Although she was asked to come share her platform, "Unity Starts with YOU," she spent the morning learning an African folk dance, money management skills, and even made a homemade pizza.
In regards to her platform, she spent time explaining the difference between a bully, victim, bystander, and ally in the context of the Holocaust. Then the girls and Jeniece had a discussion about these terms as they relate to growing up in Indianapolis. Most of the girls shared how they have been bullied because of their intelligence or because of their ethnicity or their size. Then the group discussed the importance of loving yourself and being thankful for who God has created you to be. Lastly they discussed how important it is to say something and be an "ally" when others are being talked about or bullied.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Miss Banks of the Wabash visits the Big Apple!!
God works in mysterious ways ...
My junior year of high school, I wrote an essay about a man named Chiune Sugihara through my involvement with the Anti-Defamation League (visit http://www.adl.org/). As a result, I was granted the opportunity to visit Japan.
A couple of weeks ago I sent an email to the Director of Education at ADL to ask if the family I stayed with while in Japan was ok. After he assured me that the Naka family was fine, he informed me that some people from Japan would be visiting New York. He wanted me to come speak to them about my experiences in Japan and how I've used the lessons of the ADL since 2003.
So of COURSE I said yes. :-)
I met a woman that described her escape from the concentration camps in Poland. She is in the above photo in all red. She walked us through how each situation she and her family came across was life or death and God made a way. For example: She and her family got stopped by a Russian soldier with a gun who was about to kill her. The only reason he didn't was because he had a sister who was the same age, had the same name (which was a Russian name and it was odd that this woman had this name), and had the same two pig-tail braids in her hair. Her narrow escacpe seemed unreal.
The picture below is of two of the girls from Japan. For some reason, we had tuna and turkey wraps instead of food that would have been easier for the Japanese guests to eat. Watching them attempt to eat their food with fork and knife reminded me of how I tried to use chopsticks in Japan. I had to explain that wraps were finger food. It was a cute moment.
My junior year of high school, I wrote an essay about a man named Chiune Sugihara through my involvement with the Anti-Defamation League (visit http://www.adl.org/). As a result, I was granted the opportunity to visit Japan.
A couple of weeks ago I sent an email to the Director of Education at ADL to ask if the family I stayed with while in Japan was ok. After he assured me that the Naka family was fine, he informed me that some people from Japan would be visiting New York. He wanted me to come speak to them about my experiences in Japan and how I've used the lessons of the ADL since 2003.
So of COURSE I said yes. :-)
I met a woman that described her escape from the concentration camps in Poland. She is in the above photo in all red. She walked us through how each situation she and her family came across was life or death and God made a way. For example: She and her family got stopped by a Russian soldier with a gun who was about to kill her. The only reason he didn't was because he had a sister who was the same age, had the same name (which was a Russian name and it was odd that this woman had this name), and had the same two pig-tail braids in her hair. Her narrow escacpe seemed unreal.
The picture below is of two of the girls from Japan. For some reason, we had tuna and turkey wraps instead of food that would have been easier for the Japanese guests to eat. Watching them attempt to eat their food with fork and knife reminded me of how I tried to use chopsticks in Japan. I had to explain that wraps were finger food. It was a cute moment.
Below is a photo of me at ADL Headquarters the Monday after the Japanese guests came to visit. The Director of Education for the ADL introduced me to the staff in charge of their web publications. He told her about my experience with ADL and how that led to many decisions later. He explained how my Miss Indiana platform was linked to ADL's mission, so she asked me back to do an interview. They treated me like a real celebrity. Once they send me notification that my story is posted, I'll be sure to add a link here.
I can't believe how one simple email checking on my host family turned into this ... God is awesome. :)
Remember ... Unity Starts with YOU. Learn who you are. Respect the person God made you to be. It will help you respect (and not just tolerate difference) those around you.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Pole-Vaulting, scholarly Class President to ... Beauty Queen???
Most people who know me well and have known me for years wouldn't have EVER guessed that I would be competing for Miss Indiana. Yet and still, I will be the first representative of the Miss Banks of the Wabash Organization at the Miss Indiana 2011 Pageant.
One of my favorite cousins asked me about a month ago, "Why are you doing this? What happened to you? You used to be so fiesty and competitive and such a change agent ... now you're competing in pageants?"
I laughed. Yes, I'm competing in pageants. In fact, it's those other characteristics my cousin described that led me to pageantry.
My junior year of high school I was selected to go to Washington DC for a leadership conference sponsored by the Anti-Defamation League. I met Erin Gruwell, the real woman behind the book and movie, "Freedom Writers," Holocaust survivors, ADL executives, and 104 other high school leaders around the country. This conference, which later led to a trip to Japan, helped me realize my passion for fighting for the civil rights of others.
My Senior year of High School, as Class President, I helped lobby for the change of one event just because it was held on a Jewish holiday and would prevent many students from attending.
In my Sophomore Year at Northwestern University, I helped start something called, "Community Conversations" on Martin Luther King Jr. Day (which was the first time the University had the entire day off). We held several conversations around campus asking the question, "What would MLK say about race relations at NU?" This Community Conversation idea became a popular way to open conversation about several issues of difference on campus.
After graduating from Northwestern, I helped revamp the "diversity" requirement for all incoming freshmen after taking a course entitled, "Inclusive Excellence".
While I was learning about how I could affect change, I was simultaneously learning to be a bit more refined, so to speak. In 2004, I was crowned Miss Circle City Classic (Which came as a complete surprise. I was satisfied with making the Top Ten). This competition is NOT a pageant, but a coronation for high school girls in Indiana. Miss Circle City Classic is judged by poise, workshop participation, academics, leadership, a current event essay, and an answer to a Top Ten question.
In college, the men of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. heard about my being Miss Circle City Classic and encouraged me to compete in their Miss Black and Gold Pageant. Though I was MORE THAN NERVOUS (for this was my first "pageant") I fared well. I did not win, but this event led to the next domino.
My sorority sister and pledge daughter heard about my experiences with the Miss Black and Gold Pageant and pursuaded me to try out the Miss America system. She was from Virginia, and told me about a great competitor there named Caressa Cameron. Caressa had persevered in the Miss Virginia system but had never won the title. I repeatedly told her no. Later, after learning about the wonderful things titleholders do in the community, I agreed. I placed 1st Runner up at my first competition which was Miss Southern Illinois (even though I was from Indianapolis and went to school at Northwestern which is north of Chicago). I won my next competition which qualified me for Miss Illinois.
Two months after I won a local pageant, the first ever Miss America from my home state of Indiana was crowned. :-) I had Katie Stam picked from the beginning. So did a very helpful Northwestern staff member who was a former first runner up to Miss North Dakota.
The next January I traveled to Katie Stam's hometown of Seymour, IN to watch her crown Miss America 2010. It was no surprise to me that the Virginia competitor my sorority sister had mentioned took the crown.
I lost Miss Illinois in 2009, but gained a wealth of knowledge about competition in general. When I moved back to Indianapolis, I decided to keep competing. I lost all three competitions I attempted in the 2010 season. I even gave up. However, I believe God instructed me to dust myself off and try again. Now, I'm Miss Banks of the Wabash and preparing for Miss Indiana. It may not be in His divine will for me to win, but it is in His will for me to compete. I'm grateful for the opportunity, and I'm glad I'm competing in my home state. :-)
The JOB of Miss Banks of the Wabash or Miss Indiana or Miss America would give me the opportunity to advocate for a cause of my choice without having to worry about please a political party or running for reelection! lol :-) I am a naturally competitive person, so it's a fun way to compete and then do good!! My cause of choice, or my platform, "Unity Starts with YOU". It combines the idea of self-confidence and inclusion (Details to come but I prefer not to make these posts painfully long).
Aside from smiling and waiving, as Miss Banks of the Wabash I have paricipated in a number of community service activities and had several opportunities to speak to audiences about my platform. This is EXACTLY what I wanted to do with my title ... and I hope to continue as Miss Indiana. We'll see what happens in June.
One of my favorite cousins asked me about a month ago, "Why are you doing this? What happened to you? You used to be so fiesty and competitive and such a change agent ... now you're competing in pageants?"
I laughed. Yes, I'm competing in pageants. In fact, it's those other characteristics my cousin described that led me to pageantry.
My junior year of high school I was selected to go to Washington DC for a leadership conference sponsored by the Anti-Defamation League. I met Erin Gruwell, the real woman behind the book and movie, "Freedom Writers," Holocaust survivors, ADL executives, and 104 other high school leaders around the country. This conference, which later led to a trip to Japan, helped me realize my passion for fighting for the civil rights of others.
My Senior year of High School, as Class President, I helped lobby for the change of one event just because it was held on a Jewish holiday and would prevent many students from attending.
In my Sophomore Year at Northwestern University, I helped start something called, "Community Conversations" on Martin Luther King Jr. Day (which was the first time the University had the entire day off). We held several conversations around campus asking the question, "What would MLK say about race relations at NU?" This Community Conversation idea became a popular way to open conversation about several issues of difference on campus.
After graduating from Northwestern, I helped revamp the "diversity" requirement for all incoming freshmen after taking a course entitled, "Inclusive Excellence".
While I was learning about how I could affect change, I was simultaneously learning to be a bit more refined, so to speak. In 2004, I was crowned Miss Circle City Classic (Which came as a complete surprise. I was satisfied with making the Top Ten). This competition is NOT a pageant, but a coronation for high school girls in Indiana. Miss Circle City Classic is judged by poise, workshop participation, academics, leadership, a current event essay, and an answer to a Top Ten question.
In college, the men of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. heard about my being Miss Circle City Classic and encouraged me to compete in their Miss Black and Gold Pageant. Though I was MORE THAN NERVOUS (for this was my first "pageant") I fared well. I did not win, but this event led to the next domino.
My sorority sister and pledge daughter heard about my experiences with the Miss Black and Gold Pageant and pursuaded me to try out the Miss America system. She was from Virginia, and told me about a great competitor there named Caressa Cameron. Caressa had persevered in the Miss Virginia system but had never won the title. I repeatedly told her no. Later, after learning about the wonderful things titleholders do in the community, I agreed. I placed 1st Runner up at my first competition which was Miss Southern Illinois (even though I was from Indianapolis and went to school at Northwestern which is north of Chicago). I won my next competition which qualified me for Miss Illinois.
Two months after I won a local pageant, the first ever Miss America from my home state of Indiana was crowned. :-) I had Katie Stam picked from the beginning. So did a very helpful Northwestern staff member who was a former first runner up to Miss North Dakota.
The next January I traveled to Katie Stam's hometown of Seymour, IN to watch her crown Miss America 2010. It was no surprise to me that the Virginia competitor my sorority sister had mentioned took the crown.
I lost Miss Illinois in 2009, but gained a wealth of knowledge about competition in general. When I moved back to Indianapolis, I decided to keep competing. I lost all three competitions I attempted in the 2010 season. I even gave up. However, I believe God instructed me to dust myself off and try again. Now, I'm Miss Banks of the Wabash and preparing for Miss Indiana. It may not be in His divine will for me to win, but it is in His will for me to compete. I'm grateful for the opportunity, and I'm glad I'm competing in my home state. :-)
The JOB of Miss Banks of the Wabash or Miss Indiana or Miss America would give me the opportunity to advocate for a cause of my choice without having to worry about please a political party or running for reelection! lol :-) I am a naturally competitive person, so it's a fun way to compete and then do good!! My cause of choice, or my platform, "Unity Starts with YOU". It combines the idea of self-confidence and inclusion (Details to come but I prefer not to make these posts painfully long).
Aside from smiling and waiving, as Miss Banks of the Wabash I have paricipated in a number of community service activities and had several opportunities to speak to audiences about my platform. This is EXACTLY what I wanted to do with my title ... and I hope to continue as Miss Indiana. We'll see what happens in June.
Friday, February 18, 2011
I LOOOVVVVEEEE MY JOB
I know I'm way behind in all of my updates on here, but I am excited to write about my role at Arlington Woods Elementary. First off, I'm thankful that my nephew attends there. I had not looked into a position at this school until I came to the school asked if I could volunteer and check-up on my favorite nephew.
Since becoming a staff member in October, I've learned of so many reasons to love my job and what I do. Although I am technically not in "my field," the staff at Arlington Woods has grown to trust me and has found ways to allow me to use my talents to help others.
This post isn't about what I do specifically at Arlington Woods, but I wanted to talk about my role there and highlight some of the wonderful things the staff members do for the students there. There is a series about Arlington Woods in the Indianapolis Star, and I wanted to share the links to the two articles written so far ...
The first let's readeres know about something called Project Restore - which is a system of learning that challenges students and prepares them for standardized tests AND creates an atmosphere of high expectations in general ... :-)
http://www.indystar.com/article/20110216/NEWS08/102160324/1368/NEWS1003/Tully-Students-rise-challenge-Project-Restore-s-rigorous-tests
The second shows a more in depth picture of how the staff makes it all happen. 1st - they believe in their students and 2nd - they make every minute count.
http://www.indystar.com/article/20110213/NEWS08/102130364/1368/NEWS1003/IPS-elementary-school-making-every-minute-count
Working here is truly a pleasure. The system isn't flawless, but it is obvious that the staff cares and is doing what they can to prepare their students not just for the ISTEP but for life beyond IPS.
Since becoming a staff member in October, I've learned of so many reasons to love my job and what I do. Although I am technically not in "my field," the staff at Arlington Woods has grown to trust me and has found ways to allow me to use my talents to help others.
This post isn't about what I do specifically at Arlington Woods, but I wanted to talk about my role there and highlight some of the wonderful things the staff members do for the students there. There is a series about Arlington Woods in the Indianapolis Star, and I wanted to share the links to the two articles written so far ...
The first let's readeres know about something called Project Restore - which is a system of learning that challenges students and prepares them for standardized tests AND creates an atmosphere of high expectations in general ... :-)
http://www.indystar.com/article/20110216/NEWS08/102160324/1368/NEWS1003/Tully-Students-rise-challenge-Project-Restore-s-rigorous-tests
The second shows a more in depth picture of how the staff makes it all happen. 1st - they believe in their students and 2nd - they make every minute count.
http://www.indystar.com/article/20110213/NEWS08/102130364/1368/NEWS1003/IPS-elementary-school-making-every-minute-count
Working here is truly a pleasure. The system isn't flawless, but it is obvious that the staff cares and is doing what they can to prepare their students not just for the ISTEP but for life beyond IPS.
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